This is such a loaded question. I have so many insecurities in my writings, but most of these insecurities lead to significant challenges and the ability to grow and become a comedian. As a comedian, I had to take pen to paper repeatedly, develop my bets clean them up streamline the words. I’ve excepted the challenge, but that does not mean that I always enjoy it.
As a young child, what I most enjoyed was my beautiful handwriting. I went to a Catholic school, and the nuns made sure that we knew how to write in a very legible font how to make the letters the same size in the curves of a script, almost sensual. Very naughty undertones! I have taken on this blogging challenge to better my writings and enjoy my creative path more. At 44, in the middle of a pandemic, getting lost emotionally is easy, but this small and fantastic daily blog brings joy to a simple pleasure such as writing once again.
Only at the beginning of the year 2021, and so far, what we have seen is unbelievable. When I look at my updates, I feel like I’m watching a bad 80s movie with bad Casting, lousy script, bad lighting. A movie that is so bad that it goes directly from being filmed to VHS
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Well, to be honest, 2020 was a year that had me question life’s purpose. Somehow simpler things in life became more important, and I still have my goals and big dreams, but I am aware that time is an allusion, and we pass through it with a different beat. So the following is a list of people that I am grateful for creatively. This year has taught me To be patient, a quality difficult for Latinas to learn ;). Well, I’m now 43. I live in Berlin. We are on our second lockdown due to the Covid breakout. I still feel that I am in a position to share my good fortune and to welcome help, health, and bouts of happiness through this strange pandemic. I compare my experience to know ones and I hope you find yourself flowing smoothly through your own rollercoaster. Enjoy the ups & downs!
Thank you for the challenges that you gave us in 2020 I have learned to become more active online. I am learning to have fun with the Internet something that is not of my generation. I am infusing my youthful soul my child like curiosity into what I do in my 40s. The pandemic has brought fear and uncertainty into our lives and yet we are able to transform this fear into hope and this uncertainty into a trust in the divine. I have begun to meditate more than ever before. But procrastination is still a big part of my daily life. Even when there is nothing to do how is this possible. I think my loyal companion Afreakola, for showing me had to take naps in the middle of the day how to roll my eyes and walk away and how to pair into a REM state.
I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I know that beautiful people surround me at a distance with a mask. The Creative family continues to support and inspire me. That is my responsibility as an artist to continue to reflect on society and search for meaning in our connection. Anyone who comes close to me knows that my love is unconditional , and it does not change that I am an independent woman. I love many, and I have lost many, and I will continue to laugh. May this new year help you feel comfortable in your skin. May this new year bring small but significant changes to your soul. May this new year inspire you to break the mold and shine from within.
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Am I happy with the person I am? The end of the year is near and we must all (should all) do a little check-in with ourselves. I try to do this not just yearly when everyone else is making their lists but also on a shorter and more often timeline. I Liliana Velásquez M. am now 42 years old and I did not expect to be where I am. Never in my wildest dreams would I be living in Germany and succeeding as a performer. I have definitely lived an exciting life so far. In my youth, I dreamed of being a Broadway star! A triple threat. I feel like I have accomplished what it takes and then some extra threats. My path has been rocky at times but mostly because I took risks. The adventurous spirit and invincible mentality of youth lead me to NYC. I walked down those streets in my twenties still believing that one day I would be married to a man maybe have my career and children to raise… The children were very far back in my mind. Not one of my goals but something that felt like well it happens to the best of them… almost like catching a cold. But I must have been vaccinated against children because let me tell you pregnancy is not something my body is good at! more often then none I have taken the morning after pill or done rails of cocaine (cheaper than the pill for me) to make sure I was not pregnant… Turns out I could have saved time money and the bad company had I known how impregnable my body is. I guess you live and learn. My previous partners now have children and wives. And I am living the same life I had in my 20’s but with better choices knowledge and company. I find myself guiding other artists and making the best out of this freedom. Now I am this magical 42 and out of a whim I ended up in Berlin. With love and support of a funny German man, that offered me, unconditional love! Something I had never witnessed before. Something that is difficult to understand. But it happened. He died this past year. It is still something difficult for me to believe. I talk to him daily and have his voice always in my head. He changed my life for what I would like to believe is better. As the government in the USA went downhill. I began a new life in Berlin the only part of Germany where you don’t need to speak German LOL, but you should still learn it, as I am learning now. Am I happy with whom I have become? YES I represent the migrant life, I represent Women of Color, I represent freedom and femdom. Not many women have made and learned from these mistakes. I have tackled my demons and abusers I have overcome my own addictions and mental states of despair. I have learned to love my flaws and to encourage others to accept there is no NORMAL. Take that society’s pressure to fit in. There is no in or out, there is only is “to be or not to be”. And you and only you can decide what you want to be. Only you can ultimately make that person a reality. So ask yourself Am I happy with the person I have become? And remember there is almost always time to become the person you want. Lead by Example! Understand that we are fallible and pick up the pieces when they break sometimes broken is even more beautiful and strong! Find your tribe and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Tact is something that I am still learning as my mind is strong and willful with a loud Latina tone! So if anything for 2020 my new goal is to be gentler in my delivery of NO (my favorite word) I will continue to ask for what I deserve, I will continue to grow in all directions mind body and soul, and I will continue to allow people opportunities and also cut them out of my circle if they overstep. My boundaries are clear to me and yes they fluctuate I pray to the Goddesses that surround me to give me strength and kindness. To allow me to stand up for myself and be forgiving. To let this NEW YEAR represent the best I have to offer. Happy New Year Beautiful Humans!